Deciding to elope with your partner is an exciting but DEEPLY personal decision. While the idea of an intimate ceremony may feel right to you, the thought of breaking the news to your family can be a bit daunting. But fear not! After you read this, you'll be able to navigate how to tell your family that you're eloping. I tried to break this post down by who to tell, when to tell, and how to handle pushback. I included some helpful tips on how to approach the conversation with your family and friends, and make them a part of your elopement journey.

Who to Tell That You're Eloping

Even though you two are thinking of eloping, it still involves deciding who to share this decision with. While it's ultimately a personal choice and your day, consider the following people when deciding who to inform about your elopement:

Immediate Family

Begin with your parents and siblings, as they often play a significant role in your life. Sharing the news with them first can help establish a sense of trust and openness, and these are the people who may most likely be the most affected by the decision.

Close Friends

If you have a tight-knit group of friends who have been part of your journey as a couple, consider including them in the circle of those who know about your elopement plans.

Extended Family

Decide whether you want to inform extended family members. This may depend on your relationship with them and the level of involvement you desire from a broader family network.

Consider Work Colleagues

If you have a close relationship with your colleagues, you might want to share the news with them, especially if they have been supportive of your relationship.

When to Tell Your Family

We've covered how to tell your family that you're eloping, and now it's time to cover the when. Timing is crucial when sharing the news of your elopement. Choosing the right moment can set a positive tone for the conversation and help manage expectations. This is not something you want to do over text lol!

Choose a Calm Setting

Opting for a time when everyone is relaxed, and there are no distractions will be your best bet here. If emotions are already heightened like at a holiday for example, it may not go the way you want.

Plan Ahead

Consider telling your fam well in advance of the elopement date. This allows them time to process the information and, if necessary, for you to address any concerns they may have. We'll get to more of this in the next section, so keep reading!

Special Occasions

This one totally depends on your family, and might sound contradictory. But if there's a family gathering or celebration on the horizon, it might be a good time to share your news, turning it into a memorable occasion for everyone. Don't be that person to steal the spotlight from your sisters baby shower or something though! Think a family dinner or reunion. I still think you should avoid holidays, but that's just me!

How to Deal with Pushback from Family

While some family members may be supportive, others might have reservations. Here are some tips for handling pushback:

Be Open and Honest

Acknowledge their concerns and express your reasons for choosing to elope. Honest communication can go a long way in helping them understand your perspective.

Validate Their Feelings

Show empathy and understanding towards any disappointment or surprise they may be experiencing. Let them know their feelings are valid and that you appreciate their concerns.

Share Your Vision

Help your family understand the significance of your elopement by sharing your vision for the intimate ceremony. Paint a picture of the experience you want and why it holds meaning for you as a couple.

Offer Alternatives

If possible, provide alternative ways for your family to be involved, such as planning a celebration or gathering after the elopement. This can help bridge the gap between your intimate ceremony and their desire to celebrate your marriage.

Stand Firm, but with Love

While it's essential to stand firm in your decision, do so with love and respect. Reassure your family that your choice doesn't diminish the value you place on your relationship with them, and that the decision just represents you two as a couple a bit more than the traditional route.

By carefully considering who to tell, choosing the right moment, and approaching pushback with empathy, you can navigate the process of how to tell your family that you're eloping a bit more smoothly! If you have any tips or suggestions on how you were able to successfully navigate a tricky situation, PLEASE email me and I will update this post for future couples.

Wondering where to elope? I put together some guides for Vermont, Maine, and New Hampshire on just how to do it!